i've come to realise that i am a seeker.
a seeker of love, lust, distractions, things, ideas, friendships, relationships.
i persue things. i'm like a guided missile. once i've got my target set, it's all but a matter of time that i acquire it. i don't mean harm. i do it because it makes me feel good. it makes me feel alive.
it's exhilarating.
i don't like waiting. i don't seem to possess the patience that so many girls have. i am this churning fire that is unrelentless and all consuming. that is at the same time dangerous. both to myself and those around me.
i cannot sit still. stillness scares me. it bores me. it is in stillness that my mind gets thrown into chaos. where blank, empty space gets filled with rampant, destructive thoughts.
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